If you told me five years ago that I’d be living a life where steak is a food group, butter is practically a beverage, and the mere sight of a leafy green triggers my fight-or-flight response, I would have laughed in your face. But here we are. So let me share some of the memorable carnivore diet moments I’ve gone through.
The Great Doctor Debacle: Unyielding Faith in the Good Old Mediterranean Diet
There I was, seated in my Kaiser doctor’s office, feeling fantastic—radiant as a well-marbled ribeye—when my doctor peered at my bloodwork and said, “Well, your cholesterol is a little high, but everything else looks weirdly perfect?”
Weirdly perfect, indeed! My joint pain? Gone. My energy? Boundless. My blood sugar? Normal. My PCOS? Vanished. Yet she had the guts to tell me to quit eating meat and switch to the glorious Mediterranean Diet—the one that claims olive oil and quinoa hold the keys to life. I asked, “Doctor, I’ve never been this healthy in my whole 30’s and 40’s. Tell me why I should change anything.” She responded, “You need fiber and olive oil, the good fat. And you should stop eating so much red meat.”
It felt as though she hadn’t even seen the lab results from her own hospital or heard a word I said. As I looked at her, it hit me—this was the end of our road together. Why should I trust decades of Mediterranean diet recommendations over the clear signals my own body is giving me? And why should she? It’s clear I need to find a doctor outside the big hospital system—someone who will actually listen. Is this really what I’m paying hundreds of dollars for every month in “health” insurance and “health” care? The industry seems to have lost sight of its own logic.
The Fart That Wasn’t: A Tragic Tale of a Carnivore Rite of Passage
We all like to think we have control over our bodies—at least when it matters. But one fateful evening, my newly carnivore-converted friend Danny learned the hard way that digestive transitions can be… unpredictable.
He had just finished a generous portion of fatty ribs with butter. A few hours later, while we were joking around outside, he felt what he thought was a harmless urge to pass gas. No warning. No need to step away. Just a casual, routine release. But the moment he let it go, his face changed. His entire body cringed. Oh no. I knew right away—this was the notorious carnivore diet emergency diarrhea. I had seen and heard about it too many times. His body, still adapting to the higher fat intake, betrayed him at the worst moment.
Without hesitation, I grabbed his arm and rushed him to the bathroom, attempting to salvage what little dignity remained. But let’s be honest—there’s just no dignified way to sprint to the toilet in that kind of compromised posture.
Poor Danny. But in the grand scheme of things, I was just getting initiated. His body was transforming for the better.
The Great Restaurant Steak Betrayal
If you think carnivore dieters are picky, you’ve never seen one realize their precious ribeye was cooked in seed oil instead of butter. One night, I did something rare—I dined out at a fancy downtown steakhouse with my partner. I ordered an expensive, beautifully marbled filet mignon and politely asked the waiter to have it cooked in real butter instead of any vegetable oil. The waiter seemed a little puzzled but reassured me, “Sure, I’ll make sure the kitchen knows.” 20 minutes later, my steak arrived. It looked perfect—glistening, juicy, seemingly pure. But one bite in, I knew. This wasn’t butter. It wasn’t tallow. It wasn’t animal fat. It had the weird oxidized unsavory taste to it. I found our waiter and asked, “Hi… um… I can taste that this isn’t butter. Was my request declined by the cook?” The young waiter looked confused and awkward. I felt bad for him, but I wanted to get to the bottom of this. “Will you please check with them?”
He ran back to the kitchen. Another three minutes later, he came back avoiding eye contact with me. “I’m so sorry. They didn’t have real butter, so they used a plant-based butter product instead…. I, we apologize. Would you like me to take back the steak and order something else?” Now I felt worse —it wasn’t his fault. So I just replied with a sigh, “It’s okay. I’ll eat this. Thank you so much for checking with them.” His apology didn’t make me happy but I didn’t’ want to spend the rest of the evening being frustrated about the canola oil smothered filet mignon…well, I’m still a little sad. But I’m always reminding myself, progress over perfection.
Still, the irony was hard to ignore—an upscale steakhouse without real butter? What else had they replaced? Their bread spread? Their entire integrity?
Carnivore Immune System vs. The Holiday Flu
The 2024 holiday season came and went, bringing with it a brutal viral infection that took down my entire family. My mom, my in-laws—every single one of them, eight in total—took turns battling sneezing, brain fog, body aches, congestion, headaches, and sheer exhaustion.
I braced myself, expecting to go through the same misery. And for a few days, I thought I had. I had some mild sneezing, a little head pressure, and slight fatigue. My body was clearly recognizing the virus and mounting a defense. But then—just like that—it was gone. It felt like my immune system met the virus at the front door, argued with it for three days, and then somehow managed to shut it out completely. Meanwhile, everyone else stayed sick for two full weeks.
Was it the flu vaccine? Nope—I don’t get flu vaccines, so that wasn’t it. I was exposed to the same virus. I felt it try to take hold. But for the first time in my life, my body fought back and won. In past years, I would have been just as miserable as everyone else. But now? Something had changed.
I don’t claim to have all the answers, and I know everyone’s body is different. But experiencing this firsthand was mind-blowing to me. The carnivore diet hadn’t just changed how I ate—it had transformed how I fought off illness. And for me, that felt nothing short of amazing.
My Take
This way of eating has been the most unexpected, educational, inspiring and rewarding change in my life. It’s defied mainstream health advice, surprised doctors, humbled my digestive system, tested my patience at restaurants, and—somehow—made me unstoppable against many challenges in life. And it continues to make me grow as a person.
Would I trade it for a Mediterranean Diet full of quinoa and olive oil? Not a chance.
